1
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_

2
00:00:09,235 --> 00:00:11,593
- ♪ <i>I want to break free</i> ♪
- _

3
00:00:13,239 --> 00:00:16,098
♪ <i>I want to break free</i> ♪

4
00:00:16,925 --> 00:00:18,183
- _
- ♪ <i>I want to</i> ♪

5
00:00:18,335 --> 00:00:20,185
♪ <i>Break free from your lies</i> ♪

6
00:00:20,337 --> 00:00:22,746
♪ <i>You're so self-satisfied</i> ♪

7
00:00:22,765 --> 00:00:25,357
- ♪ <i>I don't need you</i> ♪
- _

8
00:00:26,676 --> 00:00:29,153
♪ <i>I've got to break free</i> ♪

9
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- ♪ <i>God knows</i> ♪
- _

10
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♪ <i>God knows I want to break free</i> ♪

11
00:00:39,689 --> 00:00:42,207
♪ <i>I want to break free.</i> ♪

12
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_

13
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Ah, the joy of a completed to-do list.

14
00:00:47,773 --> 00:00:50,549
Shall we celebrate by
cracking open an amontillado?

15
00:00:50,626 --> 00:00:52,867
Uh, sir,
you had that cask of amontillado

16
00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:54,536
walled off two days ago.

17
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,555
Along with the salesman.

18
00:00:56,632 --> 00:00:58,282
Are you still considering

19
00:00:58,284 --> 00:00:59,892
the Cask of the Month Club?

20
00:00:59,968 --> 00:01:02,061
After three months, it pays for itself.

21
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:03,896
I'm thinking about it.

22
00:01:03,972 --> 00:01:06,123
Anyway, Smithers, a tasting.

23
00:01:06,141 --> 00:01:09,193
What about this 1945 Bordeaux?

24
00:01:10,646 --> 00:01:13,130
Yes, that could give my palate
a little party.

25
00:01:13,132 --> 00:01:14,722
Palate, have at it.

26
00:01:15,616 --> 00:01:18,969
Oh. How I miss extra-venous fluids.

27
00:01:18,971 --> 00:01:21,154
Mm, you're getting notes of cigar smoke,

28
00:01:21,231 --> 00:01:23,231
saffron... Ooh, sandalwood.

29
00:01:23,309 --> 00:01:25,079
Yes, yes, all of those.

30
00:01:25,828 --> 00:01:28,587
And cupcake frosting from
a child's birthday party

31
00:01:28,664 --> 00:01:31,435
with notes of petting zoo on the finish.

32
00:01:31,470 --> 00:01:33,759
Oh, I'm getting a little tipsy.

33
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,427
Make sure you take two aspirin

34
00:01:35,504 --> 00:01:39,223
and drink plenty of
water before I go to bed.

35
00:01:42,328 --> 00:01:44,161
What is it? What do you hear, boy?

36
00:01:44,163 --> 00:01:45,679
Dress shoes on linoleum.

37
00:01:45,831 --> 00:01:47,331
It's Smithers.

38
00:01:47,349 --> 00:01:48,590
Whenever he comes down here, he wants

39
00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:51,151
someone to stay late and do extra work.

40
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,617
Homer, it's one taquito.

41
00:01:58,694 --> 00:01:59,843
It's not worth it.

42
00:01:59,845 --> 00:02:01,620
No snack left behind.

43
00:02:01,697 --> 00:02:03,347
I'll tell your story.

44
00:02:04,850 --> 00:02:06,274
Simpson, come with me.

45
00:02:06,949 --> 00:02:09,211
- Can I bring my taquito?
- No.

46
00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:13,448
Mr. Burns wants to
impress his wine club,

47
00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:15,175
so he paid a million dollars

48
00:02:15,193 --> 00:02:17,268
for a very special bottle
of Gevrey-Chambertin

49
00:02:17,288 --> 00:02:19,246
once owned by Napoleon.

50
00:02:20,365 --> 00:02:21,865
Whoa, just like the laundry pods

51
00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,209
they lock up at the Kwik-E-Mart.

52
00:02:26,204 --> 00:02:27,462
Wow.

53
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:29,689
Turns out Napoleon fought
the Battle of Austerlitz

54
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,207
just because he'd heard there was

55
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,026
an extraordinary bottle of red there.

56
00:02:33,045 --> 00:02:36,788
And you need my expert
skills to keep watch over it.

57
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:39,808
No, I need you to ride in the
back with it as a human airbag.

58
00:02:40,001 --> 00:02:41,476
Ooh, human.

59
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:45,630
Smithers, I coughed up my Adam's apple.

60
00:02:45,649 --> 00:02:47,799
Not again. I'm on my way, sir.

61
00:02:47,818 --> 00:02:50,152
Simpson, I need you
to bring the Napoleon wine

62
00:02:50,228 --> 00:02:52,195
directly to Mr. Burns' mansion.

63
00:02:52,230 --> 00:02:54,064
This is the most important job

64
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:56,066
you've ever done in your entire life.

65
00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:58,234
I'm glad to have earned your trust.

66
00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,812
If there were anyone else on
Earth I could ask, I would.

67
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,055
Thank you.

68
00:03:02,074 --> 00:03:03,147
<i>Hurry, Smithers.</i>

69
00:03:03,167 --> 00:03:05,208
<i>Now ants are circling it.</i>

70
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:09,079
Okay,
just get the bottle back to Mr. Burns.

71
00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:11,506
First, select the least bumpy route.

72
00:03:12,343 --> 00:03:13,991
Aah! Where'd it go?!

73
00:03:14,011 --> 00:03:17,404
And now it is my great honor

74
00:03:17,422 --> 00:03:19,181
to christen this ship...

75
00:03:19,774 --> 00:03:21,257
Well, I never.

76
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:23,894
No, wait, this did happen once before.

77
00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:28,915
Mazel tov!

78
00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,359
Ow!

79
00:03:33,626 --> 00:03:34,883
_

80
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:39,959
Uh...

81
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,245
Mwah.

82
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:52,798
Mm...

83
00:03:57,537 --> 00:04:00,705
Oh, man, I'm so far
from Mr. Burns' mansion.

84
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,132
Where even am I?

85
00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:03,558
I'll give you a hint, dumbass.

86
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,209
You live here.

87
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,044
Give me another hint.

88
00:04:07,064 --> 00:04:09,289
Okay, Homer,
you got a million-dollar bottle of wine.

89
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,291
For once in your life, don't be stupid.

90
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:13,402
Put it somewhere safe.

91
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:15,295
Safe, safe.

92
00:04:15,313 --> 00:04:17,781
Wait, a safe.

93
00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:25,229
Safe. So this is
what being smart feels like.

94
00:04:26,502 --> 00:04:30,143
I'll reward myself
with a quick garage nap in the car.

95
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,662
I'll just turn it on to keep warm and...

96
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:33,905
No.

97
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,815
Staying smart.

98
00:04:37,261 --> 00:04:38,927
Huh? Wha... Oh, no!

99
00:04:38,929 --> 00:04:40,670
I need to get to Burns' mansion.

100
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:41,988
You're exhausted.

101
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,174
At least eat dinner before you go.

102
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:47,102
Mmm, this is the best stew ever.

103
00:04:47,253 --> 00:04:48,344
Oh, it's nothing special.

104
00:04:48,346 --> 00:04:50,087
Just beef, carrots, onions,

105
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,514
garlic and bay leaves.

106
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:52,924
Well, it's delicious.

107
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,017
Oh, and some wine.

108
00:04:55,012 --> 00:04:56,594
What kind of wine?

109
00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:59,096
I didn't want to use the
good nine-dollar bottle,

110
00:04:59,116 --> 00:05:01,691
so I just used this old one.

111
00:05:03,620 --> 00:05:04,939
How? No.

112
00:05:04,974 --> 00:05:07,412
No, I was smart. I was smart.

113
00:05:07,447 --> 00:05:08,531
So smart.

114
00:05:10,127 --> 00:05:11,943
What? I don't understand.

115
00:05:11,962 --> 00:05:13,587
It's still locked.

116
00:05:16,199 --> 00:05:17,357
- Huh?
- Hey, Homer.

117
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,359
What the hell kind of safe is this?

118
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:21,619
Remember? You punched a hole in the wall

119
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:24,622
when Major League Baseball
added the pitch clock.

120
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:27,458
I like my sports slow,
and they knew that.

121
00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:29,126
Marge, you don't understand.

122
00:05:29,146 --> 00:05:30,887
That wine you used in the stew

123
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,296
was Burns' wine.

124
00:05:32,316 --> 00:05:35,058
It cost a million dollars!

125
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,651
Oh, no. No!

126
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,228
No, no, no, no, no, no.

127
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,338
A million dollars?

128
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,881
A million dollars!

129
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,551
I don't want stew.

130
00:05:43,586 --> 00:05:45,461
I want mac and cheese.

131
00:05:45,894 --> 00:05:47,579
Eat your million-dollar stew.

132
00:05:54,210 --> 00:05:57,397
You used all of the million-dollar wine?

133
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,782
It's what the recipe calls for.

134
00:05:59,784 --> 00:06:01,859
You should have written
your name on the bottle.

135
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:04,737
Like I do with that special
tea that makes me regular.

136
00:06:04,773 --> 00:06:06,439
Regular? You didn't go the whole time

137
00:06:06,441 --> 00:06:08,216
we were in the Wisconsin Dells.

138
00:06:08,293 --> 00:06:10,218
That's why I got the tea!

139
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:12,429
That I label.

140
00:06:12,464 --> 00:06:13,396
Simpson.

141
00:06:13,448 --> 00:06:15,873
Why haven't you delivered the
bottle to Mr. Burns' mansion?

142
00:06:15,951 --> 00:06:17,300
Before I answer that,

143
00:06:17,302 --> 00:06:19,436
try some of this delicious stew.

144
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:23,380
Mmm, the onions, the garlic,

145
00:06:23,458 --> 00:06:26,050
the red wine from the 19th century.

146
00:06:27,629 --> 00:06:28,552
Aah!

147
00:06:28,630 --> 00:06:30,071
It's not what you think.

148
00:06:30,148 --> 00:06:33,633
Marge cooked the wine into stew.

149
00:06:33,635 --> 00:06:36,077
Stew that we ate.

150
00:06:37,291 --> 00:06:39,247
Uh, if you need to strangle
the boy for a minute,

151
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:40,582
that's what he's here for.

152
00:06:40,658 --> 00:06:42,658
Eh, it's what I bring to the table.

153
00:06:42,660 --> 00:06:44,477
Oh, God, this is going to take Mr. Burns

154
00:06:44,496 --> 00:06:46,588
to a horrifying level of fury.

155
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,906
He built this lumber
mill just to kill us.

156
00:06:48,925 --> 00:06:50,908
Oh, that explains it.

157
00:06:50,986 --> 00:06:54,487
Waylon, Homer really
did try to keep it safe.

158
00:06:54,506 --> 00:06:56,580
This is all my fault.

159
00:06:56,582 --> 00:07:00,101
I can't believe I was
undone by Marge Simpson.

160
00:07:02,497 --> 00:07:04,263
Mm. Hmm?

161
00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:08,334
Okay, I know things look kind of bad.

162
00:07:08,336 --> 00:07:11,170
But there is a way out of this.

163
00:07:11,172 --> 00:07:12,522
This isn't "kind of bad."

164
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,098
This is a catastrophe.

165
00:07:14,175 --> 00:07:17,844
If I may...
for you, catastrophe is a new thing.

166
00:07:17,846 --> 00:07:21,122
But for me,
it's just another day at the office.

167
00:07:21,199 --> 00:07:23,850
What the hell are talking about,
you incompetent nitwit?

168
00:07:23,852 --> 00:07:26,110
Oh, Smithers, Smithers, Smithers.

169
00:07:26,187 --> 00:07:27,370
Let me explain.

170
00:07:27,446 --> 00:07:28,630
Maggie, my note.

171
00:07:29,707 --> 00:07:31,707
♪ <i>In the course of my long life</i> ♪

172
00:07:31,709 --> 00:07:33,951
- Aah!
- ♪<i> I've learned a golden rule</i> ♪

173
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,287
♪ <i>To escape the blame
and avoid the shame</i> ♪

174
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,306
♪ <i>When I've been an utter fool</i> ♪

175
00:07:38,383 --> 00:07:41,217
♪ <i>I simply cover it up</i> ♪

176
00:07:42,387 --> 00:07:44,646
- ♪<i> Cover it up?</i> ♪
- ♪<i> Cover it up?</i> ♪

177
00:07:44,648 --> 00:07:46,481
♪ <i>Cover it up, cover it up</i> ♪

178
00:07:46,483 --> 00:07:48,741
♪ <i>Lost her wedding ring one winter</i> ♪

179
00:07:48,743 --> 00:07:50,801
♪ <i>Cover it up, cover it up</i> ♪

180
00:07:50,879 --> 00:07:52,987
♪ <i>Made one with a 3D printer</i> ♪

181
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,972
♪ <i>Cover it up, cover it up</i> ♪

182
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,066
♪ <i>I cut down Flanders' cherry tree</i> ♪

183
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,143
♪ <i>And then did tell a lie</i> ♪

184
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,995
♪ <i>I blamed it on some teens</i> ♪

185
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,498
♪ <i>Who were wedgie-ing this guy</i> ♪

186
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:05,408
♪ <i>Neck high</i> ♪

187
00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:07,168
- ♪<i> Cover it up</i> ♪
- ♪<i> Cover it up</i> ♪

188
00:08:07,245 --> 00:08:11,339
♪ <i>I can't recall the lyrics
to the verse I'm singing now</i> ♪

189
00:08:11,416 --> 00:08:13,675
♪ <i>Who cares?
I'll make some new words up</i> ♪

190
00:08:18,256 --> 00:08:20,331
♪ <i>I love you, "Spingfield"</i> ♪

191
00:08:20,408 --> 00:08:21,741
♪ <i>Trick the red light camera</i> ♪

192
00:08:21,743 --> 00:08:24,577
♪ <i>When you're rushing to get home</i> ♪

193
00:08:24,579 --> 00:08:26,579
♪ <i>Forgot to bring a doggy bag</i> ♪

194
00:08:26,581 --> 00:08:28,857
♪ <i>Just use a garden gnome</i> ♪

195
00:08:28,933 --> 00:08:30,358
♪ <i>I caused so many meltdowns</i> ♪

196
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,102
♪ <i>So I use my little fix</i> ♪

197
00:08:33,104 --> 00:08:35,104
♪ <i>We know you caused
those meltdowns</i> ♪

198
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,365
♪ <i>No, you only knew of six</i> ♪

199
00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:39,592
♪ <i>Let's fix my wife's...
not my... mistake</i> ♪

200
00:08:39,594 --> 00:08:41,685
- ♪<i> Cover it up</i> ♪
- ♪<i> And fill this fancy jug</i> ♪

201
00:08:41,763 --> 00:08:43,779
- ♪<i> With fake</i> ♪
- ♪<i> Cover it up</i> ♪

202
00:08:43,781 --> 00:08:46,875
- ♪<i> Make a woo-hoo out of a d'oh</i> ♪
- ♪<i> Just cover it up</i> ♪

203
00:08:46,951 --> 00:08:49,118
♪ <i>Cover it up and they'll never</i> ♪

204
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:52,380
♪ <i>Even know</i> ♪

205
00:08:52,382 --> 00:08:54,424
♪ <i>Cover it up!</i> ♪

206
00:08:56,472 --> 00:08:58,063
Mm, I can't resist

207
00:08:58,065 --> 00:09:00,216
a musical number that advances the plot.

208
00:09:00,218 --> 00:09:03,209
- I'm in.
- But how do we cover this up?

209
00:09:03,244 --> 00:09:04,720
It's not gonna be easy.

210
00:09:04,722 --> 00:09:06,722
Mr. Burns is planning to
pour the Napoleon wine

211
00:09:06,724 --> 00:09:10,075
for some of the most discerning
wine connoisseurs in the world.

212
00:09:10,077 --> 00:09:12,745
You know,
wine is basically just chemistry.

213
00:09:12,821 --> 00:09:14,730
Maybe you need someone
who knows all about

214
00:09:14,732 --> 00:09:17,216
the chemistry of alcohol.

215
00:09:18,736 --> 00:09:21,253
Wine is the red one, right?

216
00:09:21,330 --> 00:09:22,922
Well, I understand your dilemma,

217
00:09:22,924 --> 00:09:25,074
but I am right in the
middle of an experiment

218
00:09:25,076 --> 00:09:28,835
to develop the proverbial
six-pack abdominals.

219
00:09:31,009 --> 00:09:33,749
I know, but it's what the ladies want.

220
00:09:33,768 --> 00:09:36,027
I think they just want
someone who listens.

221
00:09:36,103 --> 00:09:38,587
Well, I don't have
a contraption for that.

222
00:09:38,589 --> 00:09:40,364
Professor, maybe if I

223
00:09:40,366 --> 00:09:43,108
rephrase it like this.

224
00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:44,827
- ♪<i> Cover it up!</i> ♪
- ♪<i> Flavin!</i> ♪

225
00:09:47,690 --> 00:09:49,690
Uh, well, based on my analysis

226
00:09:49,692 --> 00:09:53,044
of the last drops of the
stewified Napoleon wine,

227
00:09:53,046 --> 00:09:56,530
I've created a replica out
of diammonium phosphate,

228
00:09:56,607 --> 00:09:59,383
calcium carbonate and 14 CCs

229
00:09:59,385 --> 00:10:02,220
of Manischewitz.

230
00:10:04,615 --> 00:10:06,966
Mmm. That's, uh, that's amazing.

231
00:10:07,042 --> 00:10:09,618
- So we did it?
- We did it.

232
00:10:09,620 --> 00:10:11,712
Uh, I, uh, did it, yes.

233
00:10:11,714 --> 00:10:14,214
And now, just to ensure I've removed

234
00:10:14,216 --> 00:10:17,217
the radioactive isotope
found in all wines

235
00:10:17,219 --> 00:10:20,112
made after the dawn
of the nuclear age...

236
00:10:21,649 --> 00:10:23,148
Perfect.

237
00:10:26,821 --> 00:10:28,746
Uh, should I be worried about that?

238
00:10:28,748 --> 00:10:30,806
Are you planning on having children?

239
00:10:30,808 --> 00:10:32,658
I never planned any of my children.

240
00:10:32,660 --> 00:10:34,961
Uh, well, it is what it is.

241
00:10:36,314 --> 00:10:38,664
I call to order this
meeting with our credo,

242
00:10:38,666 --> 00:10:40,240
"Never drink something younger

243
00:10:40,318 --> 00:10:42,760
or date something older than you."

244
00:10:42,762 --> 00:10:44,578
To pointless excess.

245
00:10:44,580 --> 00:10:45,763
And now, the main event:

246
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,766
a bottle of wine once
held by Napoleon himself.

247
00:10:48,768 --> 00:10:51,510
So, raise a glass and bend an "Elba."

248
00:10:53,422 --> 00:10:56,107
Smithers, release the cork.

249
00:10:58,111 --> 00:10:59,685
Moment of truth.

250
00:10:59,687 --> 00:11:01,612
You know, our marriage really could use

251
00:11:01,614 --> 00:11:03,948
fewer moments of truth.

252
00:11:04,951 --> 00:11:08,452
Now that's million-buck chuck!

253
00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:11,347
Complex with a hint of

254
00:11:11,349 --> 00:11:13,082
doy-yoy-yoy-yoy-yoy-yoing!

255
00:11:15,010 --> 00:11:17,536
- Mm.
- The cover-up worked!

256
00:11:17,688 --> 00:11:20,706
And tonight, we'll have cover-up sex.

257
00:11:20,783 --> 00:11:23,192
Ooh, it'll be my first.

258
00:11:23,194 --> 00:11:24,969
No, it won't.

259
00:11:26,547 --> 00:11:28,973
I can't believe we pulled that off.

260
00:11:28,975 --> 00:11:31,642
I feel a little guilty
and a little scared.

261
00:11:31,644 --> 00:11:33,552
Like the first time I fast-forwarded

262
00:11:33,704 --> 00:11:34,979
through a commercial.

263
00:11:34,981 --> 00:11:35,984
Don't feel bad.

264
00:11:36,057 --> 00:11:37,297
With the money those billionaires

265
00:11:37,317 --> 00:11:38,482
spend on one bottle,

266
00:11:38,484 --> 00:11:39,966
it could buy every poor
person in the world

267
00:11:40,044 --> 00:11:42,636
an inexpensive but very drinkable rosé.

268
00:11:42,713 --> 00:11:44,805
Those monsters.

269
00:11:44,882 --> 00:11:47,325
They are. And I do their bidding.

270
00:11:49,478 --> 00:11:52,555
I'm just as bad, if not worse,
because I know better.

271
00:11:52,557 --> 00:11:54,498
I'm even starting to
look like Mr. Burns.

272
00:11:54,575 --> 00:11:56,392
Hump!

273
00:11:56,394 --> 00:12:00,412
Sometimes I feel like I've
only got this much soul left.

274
00:12:00,414 --> 00:12:01,747
Don't worry, Waylon.

275
00:12:01,749 --> 00:12:03,824
There's plenty of soul
where that came from.

276
00:12:03,826 --> 00:12:05,843
You know, we've still got

277
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,571
a lot of this Frinky drinky.

278
00:12:08,573 --> 00:12:10,848
Think how many wrongs we could right

279
00:12:10,925 --> 00:12:14,577
if we sold just one more
million-dollar bottle.

280
00:12:14,579 --> 00:12:16,762
Are you slurring what I
think you're slurring?

281
00:12:16,839 --> 00:12:19,357
Yes. What if we sell fake wine

282
00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:21,584
to the rich to give to the poor?

283
00:12:21,586 --> 00:12:23,319
Like Robin Hood.

284
00:12:59,715 --> 00:13:01,732
I'm cleansing my soul.

285
00:13:01,809 --> 00:13:04,293
And I'm getting out of the house.

286
00:13:04,295 --> 00:13:05,820
_

287
00:13:08,466 --> 00:13:09,815
We're doing this.

288
00:13:09,817 --> 00:13:11,575
We're actually going to Robin Hood

289
00:13:11,652 --> 00:13:12,910
a bottle of fake wine.

290
00:13:12,912 --> 00:13:16,080
Look at all these mega-rich
wine connoisseurs.

291
00:13:16,082 --> 00:13:19,491
I've never seen so many people
not wearing baseball caps.

292
00:13:19,568 --> 00:13:21,919
And that's Jim Sprawldon
from the Sprawl-Mart fortune.

293
00:13:21,921 --> 00:13:24,905
And from Sam's Club,
there's Marcus Club himself.

294
00:13:24,982 --> 00:13:27,149
Oh... I can ask him to bring back

295
00:13:27,168 --> 00:13:30,152
Marcus's Choice cinnamon
apple dryer sheets.

296
00:13:30,154 --> 00:13:32,988
There's Francis Ford Coppola
and Andrew Lloyd Webber,

297
00:13:32,990 --> 00:13:35,841
the most surprisingly straight
wine collector in the world.

298
00:13:35,843 --> 00:13:37,676
And he's next to Robert Parker,

299
00:13:37,678 --> 00:13:40,104
who invented the 100-point
wine ranking scale.

300
00:13:40,181 --> 00:13:41,680
I will buy this Napoleon wine

301
00:13:41,682 --> 00:13:44,016
with the money from
the music that I write.

302
00:13:44,168 --> 00:13:47,002
The money from the music of the night.

303
00:13:47,004 --> 00:13:50,005
I rate this conversation a 36.

304
00:13:50,007 --> 00:13:53,525
Next up is the last known
wine owned by Napoleon.

305
00:13:53,527 --> 00:13:55,844
Offered for sale by an anonymous owner.

306
00:13:55,846 --> 00:13:57,270
I open the bidding at...

307
00:13:57,348 --> 00:13:59,439
$1 million!

308
00:13:59,441 --> 00:14:00,958
$1.5 million.

309
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,535
Wh... I'm sorry.
I have a call from my accountant.

310
00:14:03,612 --> 00:14:05,463
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

311
00:14:05,539 --> 00:14:06,689
I bid nothing.

312
00:14:06,691 --> 00:14:08,632
Uh, $1.5 million.

313
00:14:08,634 --> 00:14:09,858
$2 million.

314
00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:13,378
$2 million? That's, like, 20,000 100s.

315
00:14:13,380 --> 00:14:15,698
Going once. Going twice. Sold!

316
00:14:17,643 --> 00:14:20,703
Slowly, deftly, losing shall caress you.

317
00:14:20,705 --> 00:14:22,313
Hear it, feel it.

318
00:14:22,389 --> 00:14:24,315
Secretly depress you.

319
00:14:24,391 --> 00:14:26,208
You did<i> Cats,</i> right?

320
00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:27,651
What the hell was that?!

321
00:14:27,803 --> 00:14:30,395
And why do I love it?

322
00:14:30,397 --> 00:14:31,880
We did it!

323
00:14:31,882 --> 00:14:35,308
This money is going to
right so many wrongs.

324
00:14:35,386 --> 00:14:37,720
Thank you, Marge.
For the first time in my life,

325
00:14:37,722 --> 00:14:39,371
I feel free.

326
00:14:41,892 --> 00:14:44,150
You are under arrest for the high crime

327
00:14:44,152 --> 00:14:45,961
of wine forgery.

328
00:15:04,673 --> 00:15:06,023
Here's your cell.

329
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:08,267
Does the gentleman find it suitable?

330
00:15:08,419 --> 00:15:10,945
Why do they always ask the man?

331
00:15:13,464 --> 00:15:16,182
Oh, Homie, Homie,
I don't know how to tell you this,

332
00:15:16,202 --> 00:15:17,535
but I'm in jail.

333
00:15:18,010 --> 00:15:20,245
Marge in jail? Puh-lease.

334
00:15:20,297 --> 00:15:23,724
This is like that phone scam
I almost fell for last month.

335
00:15:23,875 --> 00:15:25,133
That was really me.

336
00:15:25,135 --> 00:15:26,952
I had to walk home from the airport

337
00:15:26,970 --> 00:15:28,954
because you wouldn't believe me.

338
00:15:28,956 --> 00:15:30,956
Then this is Marge! You're in jail?

339
00:15:30,958 --> 00:15:32,215
Yes.

340
00:15:32,234 --> 00:15:35,961
Waylon and I faked and
sold another Napoleon wine.

341
00:15:35,979 --> 00:15:37,404
Well, this is crazy.

342
00:15:37,555 --> 00:15:40,799
You're in jail for booze, and I'm...

343
00:15:40,801 --> 00:15:43,243
at home watching the kids.

344
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,061
Time's up.

345
00:15:45,063 --> 00:15:47,581
I've got to go. I miss you all so much.

346
00:15:47,658 --> 00:15:49,899
I love you.

347
00:15:49,977 --> 00:15:52,978
Oh, Mommy loves you, too, Maggie.

348
00:15:59,428 --> 00:16:02,763
Wine court is modeled after
the quirky French legal system.

349
00:16:02,839 --> 00:16:06,007
It's based on every
defendant's right to a certain,

350
00:16:06,084 --> 00:16:07,842
mm... je ne sais quoi.

351
00:16:07,919 --> 00:16:09,937
How do you know about all this?

352
00:16:10,013 --> 00:16:13,423
Oh, Wine Court TV plays
all day in most gay bars.

353
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:16,926
Your Honor,
this is a case of shocking fraud

354
00:16:16,946 --> 00:16:19,429
perpetrated by the
worst kind of scammers.

355
00:16:19,448 --> 00:16:21,840
Do we seriously believe that a wine

356
00:16:21,858 --> 00:16:23,450
owned by Napoleon was found

357
00:16:23,452 --> 00:16:27,028
by an executive assistant
and a homemaker?

358
00:16:27,122 --> 00:16:30,182
They're simple, ignorant Philistines.

359
00:16:30,184 --> 00:16:32,125
Mrs. Simpson, please tell the court

360
00:16:32,202 --> 00:16:33,961
your recipe for sangria.

361
00:16:34,037 --> 00:16:35,713
Two parts Duff wine cooler

362
00:16:35,748 --> 00:16:38,281
to one part grape popsicle.

363
00:16:39,472 --> 00:16:40,950
Oh, no, Marge.

364
00:16:40,970 --> 00:16:42,544
You stupid lady.

365
00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:45,973
Homie,
I might be going to jail for years.

366
00:16:45,975 --> 00:16:48,642
Promise me you'll take
good care of the kids.

367
00:16:48,793 --> 00:16:52,062
Honey, you know
I can't make that promise.

368
00:16:55,990 --> 00:16:59,194
I wonder if Homer is
looking at the same moon.

369
00:17:03,641 --> 00:17:05,217
Marge was always here...

370
00:17:06,124 --> 00:17:08,053
to dry and put away.

371
00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:11,314
This is all my fault.

372
00:17:11,391 --> 00:17:15,318
♪ <i>They covered it up,
they covered it up</i> ♪

373
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,413
♪ <i>And I lost my sweet
and loving wife</i> ♪

374
00:17:18,490 --> 00:17:21,324
- Wait, what?
- ♪<i> I can't cover it up</i> ♪

375
00:17:21,401 --> 00:17:23,659
♪ <i>Can't cover it up</i> ♪

376
00:17:23,737 --> 00:17:25,420
♪ <i>She might do 20 years</i> ♪

377
00:17:25,497 --> 00:17:28,331
♪ <i>To life.</i> ♪

378
00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:31,167
You said Mom was in Santa
Barbara with friends.

379
00:17:31,245 --> 00:17:34,429
Kids, your mom's not in Santa Barbara.

380
00:17:34,506 --> 00:17:35,522
She's in wine jail.

381
00:17:35,673 --> 00:17:38,341
There's no such thing as Santa Barbara.

382
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:41,419
Dad, you got to find a way
to get Mom out of jail.

383
00:17:41,421 --> 00:17:43,088
You got to cover this up.

384
00:17:43,106 --> 00:17:44,439
It's the only thing you're good at.

385
00:17:44,591 --> 00:17:47,776
No, the only thing
I'm good at is nothing.

386
00:17:47,928 --> 00:17:50,620
I will never cover up again.

387
00:17:53,784 --> 00:17:55,100
Ladies, gentlemen,

388
00:17:55,118 --> 00:17:57,527
and bored looking cat in a turtleneck.

389
00:17:59,197 --> 00:18:01,331
The wine we're accused of faking

390
00:18:01,441 --> 00:18:03,291
tastes exactly like the real thing,

391
00:18:03,443 --> 00:18:05,868
so if-if no one can tell the difference,

392
00:18:05,888 --> 00:18:07,445
how is that a crime?

393
00:18:09,207 --> 00:18:12,300
Your Honor, this is a case with legs.

394
00:18:12,452 --> 00:18:15,453
Pun intended on "legs"
but not on "case."

395
00:18:15,455 --> 00:18:18,065
Wine is much more than a beverage.

396
00:18:18,216 --> 00:18:21,217
For centuries,
it has told the story of civilization.

397
00:18:21,236 --> 00:18:24,312
Whenever something is that rare,
unique, and beautiful,

398
00:18:24,464 --> 00:18:28,057
it is attacked by greed
and fraud at every turn.

399
00:18:28,077 --> 00:18:31,136
Thus, it is our responsibility

400
00:18:31,138 --> 00:18:34,063
to ensure that this jewel of our society

401
00:18:34,065 --> 00:18:36,583
keeps its integrity intact.

402
00:18:38,312 --> 00:18:40,312
I have reached a decision.

403
00:18:42,441 --> 00:18:45,908
I declare the fake wine
in question to be...

404
00:18:45,910 --> 00:18:47,094
real.

405
00:18:47,245 --> 00:18:49,679
Case dismissed.

406
00:18:54,328 --> 00:18:55,827
I don't know what just happened.

407
00:18:55,846 --> 00:18:57,495
Oh, allow me to explain.

408
00:18:57,514 --> 00:19:00,756
I bought something more valuable
than any bottle of wine:

409
00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:01,835
the judge.

410
00:19:01,852 --> 00:19:03,518
You bribed her to save us?

411
00:19:03,595 --> 00:19:05,445
I... I wasn't saving you, Smithers,

412
00:19:05,597 --> 00:19:07,188
and, uh, your wife.

413
00:19:07,265 --> 00:19:08,949
I was protecting the
myth that the possessions

414
00:19:09,025 --> 00:19:11,618
of the obscenely wealthy
are remotely worth it.

415
00:19:11,695 --> 00:19:13,436
If that bottle was exposed as fake,

416
00:19:13,513 --> 00:19:15,864
skeptical eyes might look to fine art

417
00:19:15,940 --> 00:19:16,957
such as my Vermeer,

418
00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:19,108
Girl with a Pearl Nose Ring.

419
00:19:19,128 --> 00:19:22,129
<i>Or my Bible signed by Jesus.</i>

420
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:24,356
And it's all thanks to this fine fellow

421
00:19:24,374 --> 00:19:26,358
who alerted me to your predicament.

422
00:19:26,376 --> 00:19:28,784
- Homer, you...
- Covered it up.

423
00:19:28,862 --> 00:19:32,380
But, Dad, you said you were
never gonna cover up again.

424
00:19:32,532 --> 00:19:35,367
I tried not to,
but covering up is all I know.

425
00:19:35,385 --> 00:19:37,552
So, I went to the king of cover-ups.

426
00:19:37,704 --> 00:19:40,038
Who do you think hid
all that nuclear waste

427
00:19:40,056 --> 00:19:42,207
under Denver's airport?

428
00:19:42,209 --> 00:19:44,693
- This guy.
- Oh, you.

429
00:19:47,489 --> 00:19:49,714
Great, we were saved by an evil deed

430
00:19:49,716 --> 00:19:53,218
from the man whose evil deeds
we were trying to un-evil.

431
00:19:53,236 --> 00:19:55,495
But, Waylon, our whole drunken plan

432
00:19:55,572 --> 00:19:58,665
was to use bad money to do good things.

433
00:19:58,742 --> 00:20:00,892
And now we can.

434
00:20:00,894 --> 00:20:02,911
- Robin Hood?
- Robin Hood.

435
00:20:03,845 --> 00:20:06,064
- ♪<i> Don't stop me now</i> ♪
- ♪<i> 'Cause I'm having</i> ♪

436
00:20:06,066 --> 00:20:07,415
- ♪<i> A good time</i> ♪
- ♪<i> Don't stop</i> ♪

437
00:20:07,492 --> 00:20:09,083
- ♪<i> Me now</i> ♪
- ♪<i> Yes, I'm having</i> ♪

438
00:20:09,236 --> 00:20:11,344
♪ <i>A good time,
I don't want to stop</i> ♪

439
00:20:11,496 --> 00:20:13,329
♪ <i>At all</i> ♪

440
00:20:13,348 --> 00:20:15,089
♪ <i>Yeah, I'm a rocket ship</i> ♪

441
00:20:15,166 --> 00:20:17,909
♪ <i>On my way to Mars on
a collision course</i> ♪

442
00:20:17,911 --> 00:20:19,853
♪ <i>I am a satellite</i> ♪

443
00:20:19,930 --> 00:20:21,688
♪ <i>I'm out of control</i> ♪

444
00:20:21,765 --> 00:20:24,582
♪ <i>I'm a sex machine
ready to reload</i> ♪

445
00:20:24,601 --> 00:20:26,251
♪ <i>Like an atom bomb</i> ♪

446
00:20:26,269 --> 00:20:28,269
♪ <i>About to, whoa, oh, oh</i> ♪

447
00:20:28,346 --> 00:20:30,346
♪ <i>Oh, oh, explode</i> ♪

448
00:20:30,365 --> 00:20:33,366
♪ <i>I'm burning through the sky,
yeah.</i> ♪

449
00:20:38,265 --> 00:20:40,573
You will be housed here in wine jail

450
00:20:40,645 --> 00:20:43,221
while you await your trial
in Springfield wine court.

451
00:20:43,239 --> 00:20:44,389
Wine court?

452
00:20:44,407 --> 00:20:46,982
Yes. Wine crimes are too sophisticated

453
00:20:47,060 --> 00:20:50,411
for the undeveloped legal palate
of the American system.

454
00:20:50,413 --> 00:20:54,065
She sold a champagne that
was actually a prosecco.

455
00:20:54,067 --> 00:20:56,676
He called his wine a Beaujolais nouveau

456
00:20:56,678 --> 00:20:58,884
but there was nothing nouveau about it.

457
00:20:58,919 --> 00:21:01,589
And he's in solitary
for his own protection.

458
00:21:01,666 --> 00:21:03,091
We don't take kindly

459
00:21:03,167 --> 00:21:05,259
to oenophiles here.

460
00:21:05,261 --> 00:21:08,079
And here is where we
house our worst offenders:

461
00:21:08,081 --> 00:21:09,581
wine counterfeiters.

462
00:21:09,583 --> 00:21:12,675
Come back later to try our toilet wine!

463
00:21:12,677 --> 00:21:16,321
We are trying to recreate
a 1974 San Quentin.

464
00:21:17,404 --> 00:21:18,439
Shh.

465
00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:24,492
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